September 2016 CW Competition Reviews.

Whether in adulation of, with reservations about, or just with a display of plain old sour grapes, please post your thoughts concerning the September stories here. (If it be sour grapes, at least please may they be seedless).

11 thoughts on “September 2016 CW Competition Reviews.

  1. Here are my brief thoughts on the September stories. It is certainly interesting that no stories are ever the same.

    Java Java by Peter Barnet, I enjoyed this account of making coffee, a ritual which I love. Asking someone to have coffee with you is a way of saying you like being with them. Very witty and eloquent. Italians like to make a joke of how no-one asks for just a coffee any more. There are still quite strict rules here especially for men. No Italian man would dream of having anything but an espresso, and cappuccino only for breakfast if ever.

    The Road to Hell by Charles Stuart, well written story about Joseph O’Connor who goes the wrong way and it was a great relief when he ended up in paradise.

    Teeing off with a Boiled Egg by Atilier
    Witty and well written dialogues with great powers of description with few words. Hugh Bottomley wants to play golf but his wife has other ideas. Lively and fun, your writing is always exhilerating whether you are commenting, explaining or telling a story.

    Bethany’s Chair by Capucin,
    A neat and effortless story about Muriel who is pregnant with twins and her friend Jan finds a chair in a skip. The chair tells a story of Bethany whose husband perished at sea. Lots of people who deal with old furniture say that they can feel the emotions of people who used it in the past Great story.

    A Funeral by Colmore Colmore
    Every woman’s nightmare I’m sure! The triangle of Marion, Mike and Ginnie.Your writing is always flows well and keeps the reader’s interest. It would be interesting to read more of this story, you could make it into a book.

    The Persistance of Memory by Araminta
    A poignant and beautifully written story of the anguish of memory loss in old age. Sophie reflecting on memory and how she re-lived the years with David. It is frightening to think of what we are without a memory, where does that person go in the meantime? Have you seen the Notebook by Nicholas Sparks? Lovely story Araminta.

    The Auchenshuggle Bird by Lostinwords.
    A story that I felt could have been read on many levels and with lots of different interpretations. Mary and Gordon Muir and their son Billy, Billy wants to be a bird, his mother is annoyed by this but his father encourages him to become one and when he flies south they move. A sort of Roald Dahl story for grown ups. Well deserved winner.

    The Final Meeting by Archie
    A short story about tax returns, well written with lots of information in a few lines,

    Two Sides of s different Coin by Danthemann
    A clever and compassionate story about Nigel and the Businessman. Very well written and good description of the characters which made the reader feel empathy for each one.

    Brian Lara Loves Batting by Danthemann
    The history of a life told with the thread running through it of a passion for the character’s hero, Brian Lara. A lovely story that any of us who have got a hero figure can relate to. Brian Lara signs the bat and says he just loves batting, surely the best reason to do anything at all. Heart warming and lovingly told.

    Inventory of a beach Bag by Seadams
    Beautifully written and intriguing. It was easy to imagine the beach and the bag sitting forlornly alone. Lots of scope for the reader’s imagination to get to work, always enjoy your stories.

    Thank you everyone for a very enjoyable bunch of stories, looking forward to reading the ones about the sins!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I always enjoy reading your stories, Angie, and likewise your thoughts on the stories.
      You are always generous, encouraging and positive.

      Thank you for your kind words about my story. No, I haven’t seen the film or read the book you mention, but I’ll investigate. 🙂

      I’m looking forward to reading October stories too. Apologies for losing your comment on Bleda’s original post. It had to be converted into a page and your comment disappeared. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Hello Angie: My Austrian colleague served very strong espresso, which I found difficult to drink and coffee is probably the hardest thing that I found to ‘give up’ (well red wine may be harder).
      Enjoy your stories and this revue of your thoughts.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Thank you for your kind review Angie, and I am glad that the story read well for you despite being based around characters, some of which I have used on previous occasions in a different but continuous serial story-line.
      I may or may not do that again. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    4. Hello, Angie and thank you very much for making the time to give such encouraging feedback. I thoroughly enjoyed both your September stories. I gave 3 points to Mme Rose because it was a beautifully crafted glimpse into the eponymous character’s personal history: sincere, heartfelt, without artifice and touching. I was particularly struck by the stoical sadness of “Instead of trying to make her husband happy, all her energy went into not making him angry.” – 410 words, perfectly combined!


      1. Thank you Peter for your thoughtful and helpful reviews. You sum up each story very well and give constructive advice, thank you. Your reflections on Flash fiction were very interesting.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you for your generous review Peter.
        Yes it was my intention to have Bottomley put into place by his wife, for I believe that many office tyrants fall into that category. On the other hand I urge you not to be too hard on Harriet who is only fighting her corner.
        If she was a downtrodden wilting flower, Bottomley would become void of any redeeming features whatsoever. If society is to work to the benefit of most (if not all), then every bully must have a superior but (reasonably) benevolent master.
        It is only when that master turns into a despot that it becomes a worry. Harriet is no despot, but she is Hon. Sec. of the Area W.I. and Treasurer of the local bridge club. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Peter. Your usual thoughtful reviews on the stories and the one regarding my story was exceptionally kind and very interesting with regard to emotional involvement in what is flash fiction or short short stories.

      I hadn’t really considered it but it did make me think that my last two stories, or my treatment of the subject did necessitate quite a lot of emotional involvement, but I find it difficult to know if this comes over to the reader.

      So thank you for your very positive thoughts on The Persistence of Memory.

      Liked by 1 person

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